As a parent we are always looking for answers to our latest parenting challenge.  Whether it be potty training, toddler tantrums at dinner or how to raise confident, empathetic children.  There is no shortage of information on the internet but it can definitely be overwhelming.  I have read loads of parenting books so I often get asked what are some of my favourites.  Most of these below are general parenting books and not for specific “issues”.  My parenting philosophy is to focus on the feelings and needs of the child and learn to understand where they are at developmentally, this is why the books below are more general than geared to specific challenges.

1. Parenting from the Inside Out If you are scientifically minded you will love this.  Daniel J. Siegel and Mary Hartzell translates complex neuroscience and psychological concepts into parenting strategies we can use.

2. Peaceful Parents, Respectful Kids  I am a huge proponent of modelling the behaviour and qualities we want to see in our kids and I love how this book has practical exercises and activities you can do. 

3. Playful Parenting This is a game changer.  Sometimes accessing fun is challenging but if you do, it not only makes your child shift it works wonders for parents as well.  I might be exhausted and feel at a breaking point but if I can bring out some playfulness it re-energizes me and gains my child’s attention and cooperation.

4. The Whole-Brain Child I am a HUGE fan of Daniel J. Siegel and he has written this book with Tina Payne Bryson and it is so well written.  If you want to raise emotionally intelligent children this is a must read.  I love the section at the end of the book on Whole-Brain Ages and Stages.

5. No-Drama Discipline Another outstanding book by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne.  Helps you think through what parenting philosophy is for you, understanding what is appropriate by age and loads of practical strategies to connect with your child.

6. Raising Great Parents This book is filling with lots of great advice on how to phrase things with your child to get cooperation as well as your own positive self-talk.  For example: “I love you too much to do that for you when I know you are capable of doing it for yourself.”  “I love you and respect you, even though you aren’t being respectful at the moment.  I will respect myself.  So I am going to go to my room for a few minutes, and when I get back we’ll try again.”  Self-talk: “I love my child, but don’t love what she is doing at the moment!”  “This, too, shall pass.  Just believe in him and have some faith.”

7. Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids I’m sure you can see a theme in the books I love:) It all starts with us.  My transformation really came when I worked with a parent coach to understand my triggers.  What was causing me to lose it on my kids?  Why was I triggered by some of their behaviours and not others?  Uncovering that, allowed me to become aware of the story I told myself and change it.  That said, reading the book alone can leave you feeling more guilty and filled with shame.  I know I did until I got the support I needed to make change happen.

8. Becoming the Parent You Want to Be My MD recommended this book when I had my first child and I have honestly read it several times.  This is a book tailored for the first 5 years.  It’s an oldie but a goodie.

9. Unconditional Parenting Alphie Kohn is well known for his research on rewards and punishments. This book is about moving away from rewards and punishments to unconditional love.  It is filled great practical strategies to move away from “power over” to “power with” your child. 

10. The 5 Love Languages of Children This is not only helpful with your relationship with your child but for your own self-awareness and anyone in your life that you care about.  Understanding our own love language and that of our child and in other relationships helps us understand their needs and best way to connect with them.  So insightful.  Not everyone feels love in the same way, this helps you understand the unique child that you have.

I’ve read hundreds of parenting books but sometimes they just made me feel more guilty and like a failure.  The books make it seem so simple.  Why can’t I do this?  Books are a great way to learn but I have also found in order to put it into practice you sometimes need a little help. 

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