Mom, are you making this self-care mistake? | Your Transformed Family

Does self-care feel like one more thing on your to do list that you “should” be doing? Though I love mani/pedis, massages, spa days they are not actually what my self-care routine is about. And let me share a secret….if you are feeling burnt-out, stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, depressed it actually DOESN”T help. At least not in any lasting way.

Just like we may think we can “catch-up” on sleep, we can’t really and the same goes for self-care. The best way to avoid a self-care debt is to build a daily practice. Just like getting enough sleep.

So what is standing in your way of committing to a daily self-care practice? Is it:

• I don’t have time!

• I don’t even know what I need

• Mom guilt - I need to put everyone else’s needs before my own

I’m calling B.S.! In my opinion, there are 2 reasons why you are not doing regular self-care:

1. You haven’t given yourself permission to fill your own cup

2. You haven’t made yourself a priority

I see tons of moms staying up late baking cookies, decorating the house for the kid’s birthdays, cleaning the house for the 10th time in a week when we could be lowering expectations on some things and making ourselves a priority. I know because that used to be me. Always putting myself last and never asking for what I needed.

We all know the saying, “put your own oxygen mask on first.” But you need to believe you are worthy! You need to give yourself permission to fill your own cup too! You don’t need anyone else’s permission. You may need their support to make it happen but if you don’t ask for what you need, you may never get it.

I love my kids but I love myself too. I want them to grow up believing that taking care of ourselves is not selfish. My kids see me exercising, meditating, journalling all the things I need for my self-care. I want to be a model for them. So self-care is NOT selfish, it is essential. If you can’t find a way to do it for yourself, start with doing it for your kids so they don’t grow up feeling they need to put themselves last.

If you get the importance of self-care but not sure how to make the time for it, think of it this way if you don’t make the time for it you will likely pay the price in either losing your shit with your kids and yelling, suffering from anxiety, depression or burnout. Then you will be forced to make time to take care of yourself.

So this Mother’s Day, go for the mani/pedi, massage, brunch or whatever you need but don’t forget self-care is about a daily habit of taking care of ourselves.

Here are 15 self-care ideas for buys moms to build into your daily routine. Share with me which you will commit to or let me know what you would add to this list on Instagram.

1. Dance party - put on your favourite tunes and bust a move

2. Yoga

3. Colour/paint or whatever craft you are into

4. Read a book for pleasure

5. Nature walks

6. Home workout

7. Gratitude list

8. Early bedtime

9. Take a bath with essential oils

10. Explore a new hobby

11. Recite affirmations

12. Call a friend

13. Meditate

14. Eat your favourite snack

15. Nourish your body - drink more water, take your supplements

If you are still thinking you don’t have time, remember just 10-15 minutes can do a world of good. Here are some other things to consider:

• Where can you lower expectations (house can be messier, meals can be simpler, I don’t have to sweat for it to be exercise)

• Learn to say no - set boundaries. You matter so you don’t need to say ‘yes’ to everyone else and ‘no’ to yourself

• Block time off in your calendar - I find if I put it in my calendar, I am more likely to stick with it

• Wake up before kids - have some alone time before the house wakes up

• Ask for help - Don’t expect someone to offer or know what you need. Ask your partner, extended family, friend or if you can hire a sitter

Taking care of yourself is a lifelong practice in building resilience in the face of hardships and in preventing burnout. It does not have to take up a big chunk of your day. When you make time to do the things that bring YOU joy, you will feel energized and be able to show up for others around you without resentment, anger or frustration. AKA your kids!!

You are worthy of self-care.