Summer survival tips and resources
Tips to reduce stress and overwhelm this summer | Jenn Abbatiello, The Cycle Breaker Parenting Coach & Speaker
Summer can be an exciting time but also one full of overwhelm, unmet expectations and power struggles especially as a working parent.
I’ve been there and I’m here to share some things I’ve learnt along the way that will make the summer months more enjoyable so you can focus on making memories instead of regrets.
Let’s dive into my top 3 tips with supporting resources!
Leverage the power of routines and rhythm
Why are routines powerful?
Child feels more confident and secure when there is predictability and a rhythm to the day. They feel grounded and content which is the foundation for them to thrive.
The predictability leads to fewer power struggles and increases cooperation.
Routines fill a child’s need for autonomy and control.
Routines transform chaos into calm. They foster strong parent-child relationship and promote family harmony. Yes, you can achieve this…most of the time. We all have ups and downs.
Tips for success:
Co-create the routine with your child. If we simply present them with a ready made structure they will resist as their voice was not heard. Think about a situation in your life where you were simply told what to do and your opinion or thoughts were not heard or considered. Well it is the same for our child.
For summer routines, have everyone create a wish list or bucket list of things they want to do this summer. Include on the list:
Something they want to learn
Ideas to keep their hands buys (this will be used when we deal with the dreaded “I’m bored”)
Remain flexible. This is not the type of routine that dictates from such and such a time you need to do x,y or z. There is a list of things that a child can choose from but you want to encourage your child to have autonomy over the order of the activities
Adapt as your child develops. Routines are powerful for all ages and stages with some adaptation depending on where your child is at developmentally.Do I need a Parenting Coach?
The rhythmic structure offered through daily routines is a precious gift that nurtures trust, security, and healthy habits, shaping a child’s lifelong well-being.
Rhythm lays the groundwork for a trusting relationship between parent and child, fostering security, stability and lifelong habits.
Resources
Boredom Buster Ideas: download over 65 ideas to keep your kids busy and off screens this summer
2. Get clear on screen time
Keeping kids off screens or limiting screen time use is a key struggle parents face, especially over the summer months were there is more free time.
Start with figuring out if you need to make a change to the current screen time boundaries.
Why is managing screen time important:
If we or our child develop habits of turning to a screen when we are angry or anxious, we are wiring unhealthy coping mechanism with these emotions instead of learning how to deal with them. An important part of growing up is learning how to feel our feelings instead of checking out. Screens are designed to be addictive and our children do not have fully developed prefrontal cortex which houses skills like impulse control, rationale thought, problem solving and so they need us to help them manage screen use.
Tips for success
If you need to make a change, get clear on your WHY. Remembering that the only person you need to convince of your boundary is you. If you are coming from a place of confidence, it will be easier to hold with your child and allow space to validate and empathize their feelings. Because of course, if there is a change or reduction to screen time they will pushback. That is their job as a child - push our boundaries and limits. Testing if we are a sturdy leader. If they trust that we are a sturdy leader, they will feel safe and secure. Imagine you are on a flight and there was turbulence and the pilot came on and said, “OMG things are bumpy, I don’t know what to do.” There would be panic and chaos. Instead a pilot will come on and reassure everyone that this is temporary and to buckle your seatbelt and they will get us through safely.
Have a conversation with your child to talk about why managing screen time is important
Establish rules. I’ll share some resources below to help with this.
Don’t over schedule your child life as a strategy to keep them off devices. To develop, they need unstructured time and it is boredom that leads to creativity and many other benefits you can read about here.
Remember they are watching what YOU do!
Resources
Check out Andrea Davis’s resources on Better Screen Time here. She is my go to resource.
I also love how Dr. Kang, author of “The tech solution” looks at balanced tech diet. See image below and check out some of the resources here
3. Support your emotional well-being
Finally and arguably most importantly is our emotional well-being. If we are not well, it is nearly impossible to show up for our children the way we want to.
Learning to foster our emotional health and find our groove in a self-care practice that works for the season of life we are in. That will look different for everyone. Though things like a massage, mani-pedi, and night out are all lovely, what is most important are tools/strategies we foster to regulate our nervous system on a daily basis.
Resources
I share 6 of my favorite tools here.
Tips for success
Parenting is the hardest job we will ever have and our kids don’t come with an instruction manual. Getting support along the way can make a world of difference. I got you. Book a call with me here.
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