Becoming a parent is like having an identity crisis
Did any of you feel that way when you became a parent? I started having kids later in life. My first one was born when I was 36 so my life was pretty ingrained in my career, social life, etc… so when I had my first child I felt like I didn’t know who I was anymore.
Big changes or stressors in life can lead to an identity crisis. Having a child definitely qualifies as a BIG change :P
Signs you may be having an identity crisis:
You are questioning who you are.
Trying to figure out what your role is now that you are a mom or dad.
You are questioning whether you are on the right career path.
What does this mean for your relationship with your co-parent?
You are searching for more meaning and purpose.
You are not alone if you feel any of these things. I definitely felt all of them when I entered motherhood. Staying at home with my kids was never an option for me. I felt like I had invested too much of my life into my career and education to turn my back on it and it brought me a sense of purpose. That said, motherhood pulled at my heartstrings and I felt sad that my children were predominately being raised by our nanny and not me.
I bounced around to several different jobs searching for more meaning and purpose and most of all flexibility and balance to be more present with my kids. Today I am grateful to have found a career that brings me purpose and meaning as well as balance – well ok not during these COVID days as I am still juggling many responsibilities with no outside help. But I know this is temporary and I can do hard things.
If you feel you are having an identity crisis after becoming a parent, here are 5 tips to overcome it:
Go inward:
Take time to explore your values and what is most important to you.
What brings you joy? Think Marie Kondo :).
You don’t have to make a complete job change but maybe introducing more joy in your life again. What hobbies do you love that you can make time for?
Get support:
Making connections with like-minded parents who may be going through something similar is so helpful.
Avoid comparing
Looking outward and comparing yourself to others doesn’t serve you. Every situation, every person is unique.
Get outside help
You are not meant to do this alone. Getting outside help can be a game-changer to helping you enjoy your new role as a parent as well as finding fulfillment and purpose – whatever that may end up looking like for you.
You don’t have to feel stuck. Take the time to explore how becoming a parent shifts your priorities. Instead of fighting the change, embrace it.
